Monday, November 28, 2011

I wish punthing but the best for you, too

S:  I really hate Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20.
J:  Well, good for you.  I'm sure somewhere out there there is someone who hates Adele, too.
S:  Someone like you??

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Number pun

S: I'll go to the bathroom really fast.
(S returns)
A: That was fast.
S: I said I would go fast.
A: No shitting.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Hit me with your best shot

D and E were ordering cocktails at happy hour, where drinks were 2-for-1.

D: Can I have a piƱa colada?
E: I'll have one too, only I don't want mine with alcohol.
D: Bartender, can you just put her unused alcohol into my drink?
(Bartender is silent)
D: It was worth a shot.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

That's chilling

S: Check out this article. They just did an autopsy on a 5,300-year-old corpse they found frozen in the alps.  Turns out he was murdered.  Talk about a cold case!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Punsgiving

S: Do you want to host Slapsgiving? I'm already crafting the invitation. We can play games and change the names to match the games invented by Lily's dad in Slapsgiving 2!!!
M: Can we please serve slapple pie and play slcrapple?
S: Slapsolutely.
M: Slapplause.
S: I slappreciate it.
M: What a slappropriate feeling.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

For the chance of a pun like this

B: Why did you punt on updating the blog yesterday?