All we need is a glass of port

R encountered some choppy waters while scheduling a date with G.

R: What are you doing today?

G: I'm supposed to go sailing, but if it's raining I might bail.

R: Good boat pun

G: (Silence)

M: I hope you gave her a stern look after that.

R: Great pun. Take a bow.

M: You're such a pun all-star. I'm going to post your picture on my starboard.

I know this blog is cheesy

J: Puns are everywhere!
M: S and I might try to go there for grilled cheese lunch today so I have planned to spend my whole morning thinking of an A+ pun.
J: I am also going to expend all my mental energy on this today and hopefully can return with a victorious pun.
(hours later)
M: What do you eat if it's raining on Passover?
J: Manische-wetz?
M: How about Matzo-rella?
S: Hi everyone! I'm feeling Feta'd up with all of this pun talk!
J: How can you be fed up? M's puns are Brielliant. I don't know how
she Muensters up the courage to share these with us.
S: Amazing. I Swiss I was such a muenster punster.
M: I am way out of my league with you two; your puns have shredded the competition.
S: I'm sure you can wedge a few more in.
     Sent from my iProvolone
M: Stop with the amazing cheese puns! You Havarti won the contest.
J: This woman stepped on my foot on the bus. I told her, "no Parm, no foul."

Post script

M: Can we do an early dinner tonight? I have a package waiting for me at the post office so I need to wake up early to pick it up tomorrow morning.

B: As long as I don't have to work tonight (in which case we might need to postpone) I think that should be okay.
M: Okay, just keep me posted.

Soap opera

J and S, heading to the laundromat, needed to do six loads of wash.

J:  Do we have enough soap for all this?
S:  Soapfully!
S:  I mean, I think soap.


M: Does J pick up on these?
S: Not always, but I sudspect he is getting better.
M: Meanwhile, I hope the blog tides you over.

Because they got high

J and his buddy J, while in a state of chemically-induced mellowness, try to figure out how high their apartment is off the ground.

J1: Well you could estimate the feet per floor and multiply it by 28.

J2: Well, I know we're approximately 2/3 of the way up the building, so I could just look up the height of the building.

J1: This would be a great interview question to see how someone would go about this problem.

(R looks up from his work on the other side of the room.)

R: Would you call that a top-down or bottom-up approach? 

Coite right

S: Have you ever noticed that the restaurant Coi is so close to Coit Tower? COIncidence? I think noT.

House of representin'

K: Check it out! An Asian man got caught doing what was previously
reserved only for old white men!
P (who is Asian): Representin'.... literally!