Wino

S sent over this fun wine article.

"For that matter, if fruit flavors are the preference of the masses, how has the grassy smack of New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc come to such favor? Is it a Trojan horse for flavor haters to spread their fruitless message?"

Reconstruction by parts

D: Calculysse​s S. Grant has risen from the grave to teach you about math and honor.

Top dog

The faithful author of this blog is a fan of Mark Sanchez, and all-star pun maker R is a fan of Tom Brady, so R sent over this pun-tastic article.

Sanchez's antics still eats at Raiders
September, 21, 2011
By Bill Williamson


The Oakland Raiders clearly haven’t digested Mark Sanchez’s infamous Hot Dog caper of 2009.

 

Oakland coach Hue Jackson said Wednesday he wasn’t focusing on the memory of Sanchez, then a rookie, discretely putting mustard on a hot dog and then eating it on the sidelines late in the Jets’ 38-0 laugher at Oakland two years ago. Sanchez and the Jets visit Oakland on Sunday.

Still, Jackson, who was not part of the Oakland organization in 2009, relished the opportunity to grill Sanchez over the non-meaty issue. Jackson showed his team the frankfurter footage this week to, apparently, get his team steamed to face Sanchez.

“I don’t eat hot dogs during the game,” Jackson said told reporters Wednesday. “It sounds like somebody did. So, that was his prerogative back then. I wasn’t here. I hope we can make it more interesting for him so he doesn’t have to eat hot dogs. Hopefully, we can take the mustard and the relish and the onions and all that and put it away and play a little football.”

Fresh off the seeing of the video, Oakland defensive lineman Tommy Kelly has more motivation to knock the scrambling gourmet on his buns.

“Yeah, coach showed (the video) to us,” Kelly said. “It was just a reminder. We’re going to remind him of that during the game.”

Hot Dog-Gate an amusing sidebar to the main course, but the Raiders must make sure Sanchez doesn’t make them eat their words come game time.

Incredibility

C invited M to watch The Incredibles in a park last Saturday night.

M: So sorry I had to miss the picnic and movie night.
C. It's okay. We ended up defecting to another park.
M: Why?

C: Ha. It was incredibly kid-heavy.

Follow the weaver

Upon their arrival in Italy the ladies of Jersey Shore struggled to navitage the airport terminals and crowds while looking good and carrying their extensive luggage.

Snooki: I can't see.
J-Wow: Just follow my weave!

Calling your buff

S sent over a puntastic article from SFist:

Castro Nudists Plan Saturday Nude-In

A group of local exhibitionists and public nudists is planning to flood the (ahem) buff stop on Castro Commons Plaza with their surely exemplary specimens of the male form this Saturday at Noon. Although the naked event may seem to be crossing swords with the recent Wiener butt legislation, it was actually planned to coincide with the annual plein air fetish fest at the Folsom Street Fair this Sunday. So, basically, the naked guys will be doing more of less what they always do, except there may be more of them.

One of the regulars, George Davis, perhaps best known for his flaccid mayoral campaign against Gavin Newsom's engorged political machine in 2007, told the Chronicle that Supervisor Scott Wiener's legislation doesn't affect him because he's already pro-towel (chairs can be dirty, we guess). The point of this convention of flesh, Davis says, is to raise awareness that nudeness is not necessarily lewdness. Besides, "the tourists love it".

Last year's similar Folsom Street precursor apparently drew 50 or so in-the-buff attendees. Saturday's event could draw even more thanks to all the press and online buzz that came along with Wiener's proposed ordinance.

Also, for anyone planning on doing any nude sitting, either on Saturday or otherwise, the folks at the Guardian have helpfully created The Butt Guardian. As you might expect, it's a piece of paper you can print out or find tucked in to this week's Sex Issue to protect your nether regions from flithy seating or vice versa. Although, we suppose if you're going to chafe up your bum with newsprint, you could really use any issue of our fine local papers.

Workers' comp

T: I hurt my back really badly playing ping pong, so I had to go to the chiropractor, but he straightened it out right away.