Punini

Baseball headline R saw:

The New York Mets rotation enters the weekend's Subway Series on a roll.

The world is your punster

When purchasing gifts for a wedding, R prefers to buy multiple $10-20 items in the registry rather than one large item. He just ordered several items, including 4 oyster knives, for L's wedding and wants to know what's a better message for the card:

"So you can shuck yourself"

or

"Think of me while you shuck"

The Heat vs. The Punder

M and T were instant messaging and T suddenly went idle.

M: Are you ignoring this conversation to watch the end of the basketball game? Did things get heated?
T (10 minutes later): As a matter of fact, yes.

PunSQL

From C:

A SQL Statement walks into a bar.  He approaches two tables and says, “Mind if I join you?”

Puntending

M works as a bartender at a bar devoted to beer.

B: How's has your work been going recently?
M: Still chugging away.

Pick-up puns

C and K were strolling on the sidewalk when K noticed a dime on the ground and stopped to pick it up.


C: Do you always do that?
K: Yeah, it was a habit I picked up as a kid.

No ship

T wanted to play ultimate with R but needed to finish and ship some new code first.

T: If we ship, I'm so in!
R: Get your ship together.