Say it ain't pho

While at sushi:

K: I try to handle chopsticks well; I know dropping them is a pretty big faux pas.

M: Nope, I'm pretty sure Pho is Vietnamese not Japanese.

A worthy DEBAIT

XS: Btw, I like how they go with EBIDAT  [NB: as opposed to EBITDA]
R: Arg. So annoying. Who does that?
XS: Who does DAT?


M: Giving credit to another man's pun? R, you're maturing.
R: I'd like to think I am maturing.  And, since he's new, I wanted to shower him with XS praise.

Sew what

B: Oh no, I have a tear in my pocket.
M: I can fix that for you.
B: Are you good at sewing?
M: I'm sew-sew.

Honor role

R: I can't wait to tell my mom about my pun streak.
M: I'll make her a bumper sticker that says you were student of the punth.

Czech, please

R and C had to coordinate going to the airport together.

R: What's time your flight?  Mine's at 4:30

C: Mine's at 4:30 too, but I'm flying out to the Czech Republic to meet my fiancee, so I'll need to get there early.

R: Yeah, you'll probably need to czech luggage.

She loveseat when you make puns

R: It would be helpful if we can clear the living/dining/kitchen for the pot luck on Thursday. The garage is a good destination for boxes that we don't have room for.
V: Sure no problem. N, if I told you I could potentially be getting a different couch would you be able to sell yours quickly? If not I can just take it as promised.
R: I won't speak for N, but would think if we put it up on craigslist for free it could move pretty quickly, though I will couch that by saying I hope if nobody bites you can still take it.

Punnsylvania

R:  Hey, how's TX by the way?

V: It's OK. Not really a place I'd choose to live.

R: No, OK is a bit further north.

V: Har Har.

R forwards the above exchange to M, who enjoyed it much more than V did.

M: Tx for sending that.(Get it??)

R: Ma, id wa ok. (Get it??)

M: GaDe id.

R: PaNh!

Please calculate grossflux instead

B: I rented Back to the Future on Netflix...
J: Nice.
B: ... and I'm going to watch it yesterday.
J: I'm pretty sure you'll need a flux capacitor to do that.
B: I already got one and am picking it up tomorrow from Netflux.

Can you wrap that up to go please?

Forty five minutes into a phone call, M realizes how late it is.

M: I just saw the time! Have you had dinner yet?
B: No. I'll grab a burrito once we're done talking.
M: We better wrap this up then.

If that's movin' out then I'm movin' up

B was being kicked out of his apartment and wasn't sure whether he should hunt for a new place or just take an open unit two stories up in his original building.

M: I just read this article about the crazy real estate market. Good move to stay in your building.
B: In deed.

Another way to slice it

S and J ordered an appetizer of dumplings.  5 dumplings came.  They each ate 2 and then J cut off a third from the last one and ate it.
 
S:  Do you want any more? 
J:  No, take it. 
S:  But you didn't cut it up evenly.
J:  Just have it.
S:  I wanted you to halve it!

Any way you slice it

A and S went to the gym and then wanted to pick up a package that contained a cutting board that S ordered from Amazon.


A: Do we have time to grab the cutting board before breakfast?

S: Chop chop.