Punneyball

R: Let's play volleyball this afternoon. You can't make reservations for the court, though. It's first-come, first-serve.

Cartwheeling

D and L took their 2012 Saturn in for its smog test.  Sadly, the car failed the test because of an electrical issue.  L, who already doesn't like the  car, started yelling at it on their way home.  D told her not to be a car-berater.

Punnant race

A: Anyhow, I may see you next Wednesday when I come to the city for our team outing (baseball torture).  We will touch base the night before or the day of to see what your schedule is like.

Paan

P read this on another blog and sent it over.

Today I met my beloved team members for lunch at a very good Indian restaurant. There was not enough naan to go around, so T offered to go order more. "It's a naan issue," intones J.

Punini

Baseball headline R saw:

The New York Mets rotation enters the weekend's Subway Series on a roll.

The world is your punster

When purchasing gifts for a wedding, R prefers to buy multiple $10-20 items in the registry rather than one large item. He just ordered several items, including 4 oyster knives, for L's wedding and wants to know what's a better message for the card:

"So you can shuck yourself"

or

"Think of me while you shuck"

The Heat vs. The Punder

M and T were instant messaging and T suddenly went idle.

M: Are you ignoring this conversation to watch the end of the basketball game? Did things get heated?
T (10 minutes later): As a matter of fact, yes.

PunSQL

From C:

A SQL Statement walks into a bar.  He approaches two tables and says, “Mind if I join you?”

Puntending

M works as a bartender at a bar devoted to beer.

B: How's has your work been going recently?
M: Still chugging away.

Pick-up puns

C and K were strolling on the sidewalk when K noticed a dime on the ground and stopped to pick it up.


C: Do you always do that?
K: Yeah, it was a habit I picked up as a kid.

No ship

T wanted to play ultimate with R but needed to finish and ship some new code first.

T: If we ship, I'm so in!
R: Get your ship together.

Black eyed puns

S's friend A is a graduate student in Italian studies.

J:  I know I have been living under a rock recently, but did you know A has a food blog about Italian cuisine?
S:  You so two thousand and latte.

Shoppung

Checkout woman at grocery store:  Would you like to buy a reusable canvas bag for your groceries?

Customer: Totes

Poached for the pun blog

D: I am so hung over. I went on a brunch date this morning and just wanted to go back to bed.
S: Did you get your eggs hangovereasy?
D: Terrible joke. Now I feel worse.
S: Don't get so eggsasperated.
 Sent at 3:16 PM on Sunday
S: You still there or did you scramble off?
 Sent at 3:20 PM on Sunday
S: By the way, if you have a really bad hangover, I would avoid the sunny side of the room. It tends to make my headaches worse

Brew Ha Ha

M and T ordered two small drinks at a local coffee shop that prides itself on custom brewing each cup.


Barista: Take a sip and let me know if it's perfect.
M: That's a tall order.

Parks and puncreation

R's friend was supposed to get tickets for an Aziz Ansari comedy performace, but they were sold out.

E: "Aziz an-sorry."

Farmy brats

S:  What did we get in our farm box this week?
J:  Every kind of green, potatoes, and apples.
S:  What is every kind of green?
J:  Escarole, kale, chard, radicchio, radicchio, radish greens...
S:  We got two kinds of radicchio?
J:  Yes.  Castelfranco radicchio and Chioggya radicchio.
S:  That is radicchioless.  But at least we are not.